Raising My Children
Raul L. Rebollos II
When our first child was born, I remember looking at his small, rolled fingers. In that tender moment, I was instantly reminded of the first delicate leaves that emerge from a germinating seed. I had spent years working with plants, agriculture, and hydroponics, but holding my newborn made me realize something profound. In an exact instant, I had transitioned into both a gardener and a parent.
Years later, raising two children, together with my loving wife, remains the most fulfilling and humbling journey of my life.
Children, much like young seedlings, cannot be forced to sprout or mature overnight. They require the right environment, patient nourishment, and room to grow. Looking back at our parenting journey, here are the vital lessons I have learned along the way:
Lesson 1: Parenting is Pag-aaruga (Nurturing)
In hydroponics and gardening, if you try to force a plant to bloom before its roots are established, it will wither. Filipino culture captures this truth through the concept of pag-aaruga, nurturing.
Raising my kids has taught me that children develop at their own unique pace. A father’s primary duty is not to push them into adulthood prematurely, but to:
a. Perform daily “watering” by being physically and emotionally available during both big milestones and quiet evenings.
c. Sow positive words that build their confidence and sense of worth.
d. Create a safe, loving home environment where they feel secure enough to anchor themselves before branching out into the world.
Lesson 2: Mistakes are Building Blocks of Wisdom
One of the greatest gifts we can offer our children is a healthy relationship with failure. Early in my marriage and fatherhood, I reflected on my own shortcomings, realizing that “mistakes are building blocks of wisdom”.
When my children make wrong choices, my goal is not to respond with harsh judgment, but to turn those moments into teaching opportunities. When children see their parents respond to errors with patience and guidance, they learn resilience. They realize that failing at something does not make them a failure, it simply shows them where to learn and adjust.
Lesson 3: Children Learn by Watching How We Love
Children absorb far more from what we do than from what we say. One of the core foundations of raising healthy boys is showing them how to be a loving partner. My book “Gifts and Digits” emphasizes the value of “Walk the Talk.”
By expressing gratitude to my wife, admitting my own faults, and working through life’s challenges together with her, our children observe firsthand how respect and commitment look in daily life. Loving their mother openly provides our children with an emotional anchor and sets the standard for how they will treat others as they grow into men.
Lesson 4: Embrace Pagpapakumbaba (Humility)
In traditional views of fatherhood, parents are often expected to appear infallible. But true leadership at home requires humility.
As a father, I do not have all the answers, and I make mistakes. Embracing humility (pagpapakumbaba) means being willing to say “I’m sorry” to my wife and children when I am wrong. Perfection is not the goal in raising a family; continuous improvement is. When our children see us continuously learning and growing, they adopt the same growth mindset for their own lives.
Lesson 5: Anchor the Family in Extended Roots and Faith
Raising children is never meant to be a solo effort. It takes a community rooted in faith, family, and community.
We actively involve the wisdom of our extended family—their grandparents (Lolo and Lola), godparents (Ninong and Ninang), and uncles and aunties (Tito and Tita) . Surrounding our children with a network of love and guidance ensures they grow up knowing they belong to something much larger than themselves. Above all, by placing the Lord at the center of our household, we give our children an unshakeable foundation that will guide them long after they leave the nest.
A Note to Fellow Parents
Raising children is an ongoing harvest of joy, patience, and learning. Just like tending a garden, the daily effort may feel small, but over time, those seeds of character flourish into strong, compassionate, and wise individuals.