Principles of a Father
Raul L. Rebollos II
In agriculture and hydroponics, you learn that a strong harvest does not happen by accident. It requires deliberate care, the right environment, and unwavering principles . The exact same truth applies inside our homes.
As a husband to my loving wife, and a father to my two children, I have come to realize that fatherhood is less about giving orders and more about sowing seeds of character. Rooted in both my firsthand experiences and our deep-seated Filipino culture, here are the fundamental principles that guide my journey as a father:
1. Honoring our roots
In Filipino culture, raising a child is never a solitary task. It takes a community bound by Respeto (respect) and Pakikipagkapwa (shared identity). A crucial principle of my fatherhood is teaching my children to treasure the collective wisdom of our extended family.
Valuing Grandparents (Lolo and Lola)
They are the living trunk from which our branch grew. Their lifetime of experience, patience, and stories offers our children a deep sense of identity and time-tested wisdom that no textbook can replace.
Leaning on Godparents (Ninong and Ninang)
In our tradition, godparents are not just ceremonial figures during baptism. They are co-guardians (compadres and comadres) chosen to help guide our children spiritually and morally throughout life.
Cherishing Uncles and Aunties (Tito and Tita)
In a Filipino home, our Titos and Titas serve as a secondary net of love, wisdom, and encouragement. They are the trusted mentors who offer fresh perspectives, extra hands during family milestones, and warm guidance whenever our children need an extended shoulder to lean on. By honoring their presence, we teach our children that strength comes from a united, caring family network.
By encouraging my children to listen to and respect their elders and mentors, I am teaching them that they are part of a larger, supportive lineage of faith, love, and community guidance.
2. My Seeds of Delight
In Filipino culture, faith is the foundation of the home. The term Biyaya (blessing) reminds us that our children and our marriages are not merely our own achievements, but gifts entrusted to us by God.
Faith, my children, along with my partnership with my wife, are the top of “My Seeds of Delight.” Just as a seed needs sunlight to awaken and flourish, a family needs the divine light of God to grow in the right direction.
Pledging to Prosper in His Will, as I pledged on our anniversary – in my blog, true family prosperity means walking according to God’s purpose.
Faith shall serve as the ultimate soil. By making the Lord the center of our household, we build our family on fertile, unshakeable garden. When times are tough, it is our shared faith that keeps us rooted.
3. Living by Katarungan (Fairness)
In our culture, being the Haligi ng Tahanan (Pillar of the Home) is often associated with strength and provision. But true strength lies in justice and objective leadership within the family.
Fairness has always been one of my highest personal values. To build a household free from resentment, a father’s conduct must stand on three pillars:
a. Freedom from self-interest: Prioritizing the family’s well-being above personal ego.
b. Freedom from discrimination: Valuing each child’s unique personality and strengths equally.
c. Freedom from favoritism: Ensuring our children feel equally loved, respected, and heard.
When we model katarungan (fairness) at home, we prepare our children to make wise, honorable decisions in a complex world.
4. Loving the Mother First (Pagmamahal sa Esposa)
Filipino culture holds the Ilaw ng Tahanan (Light of the Home) in high esteem. One of the greatest gifts a father can give his children is to openly love, honor, and appreciate their mother.
“Thank you for being an adorable wife to me and a compassionate mother to them… I hope I am being the kind of husband that you deserve.” — Reflections to my wife in my blog.
A strong marriage creates a secure ecosystem for children. When my children see how I thank wife for her presence, learn from our disagreements , and honor our partnership, they learn how to treat women with chivalry and how to build healthy relationships of their own.
5. Nurturing Growth Like a Gardener (Pag-aaruga)
The day our first child, was born, I looked at his small, rolled fingers and was reminded of the first delicate leaves that emerge from a germinating seed (reflections to our first child in my blog). In that exact moment, I transitioned into both a gardener and a parent.
Filipino parenting relies heavily on pag-aaruga – tender, patient cultivation. Children cannot be rushed into adulthood any faster than a seed can be forced to sprout overnight. A father’s duty is to:
a. Provide daily nourishment: “Watering” them daily with encouragement, presence, and life lessons.
b. Reframe mistakes: Teaching them early on that “mistakes are building blocks of wisdom”.
c. Protect their roots: Giving them a safe environment where they can grow firm roots before branching out into the world.
6. Demonstrating Pagpapakumbaba (Humility)
In traditional setups, fathers were expected to never show weakness. However, growth requires humility. A father must be willing to acknowledge his wrong choices and learn alongside his family.
By accepting grace from my wife and showing my children that learning is a lifelong process, I hope to pass down a legacy of humility. Perfection is not the goal, it is the “continuous improvement.”
My Final Reflection
Being a father is the ultimate stewardship. By grounding our homes in faith, fairness, marital devotion, patient nurturing, and humble leadership , we do more than just raise children. We cultivate strong, compassionate adolescents ready to make the world a better, fairer place.